Welcome To Earth

“Are You Saying Da or Duh?” - Waxy Maximilian, Magic Mike, Cheerful Charlie

Waxy Maximilian comes on talking all this game about making magic and doin tricks. Whoa man, I didn’t ask for your life story. Then this Magic Mike guy sits down in my chair and no one even stopped him. He makes people sleepy or something. The last guy was a sweet kid. Cheerful Charlie was his name. He just made me feel good about myself. Zach and Roberto also talked to this 911 operator. Like why. Anyway, see you guys next time. 
 
Socials 
Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast/ 
Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin 
Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

“Legally It’s Not Murder” - Harvey Hicks, Soul Sugar, Daniel Crackcorn

Zach and Roberto chat the chits with Harvey Hicks (a fire fighter and second coming of Jesus), Soul Sugar (a pop star and all around psychopath) and Daniel Crackcorn (an animal expert and low stakes villain).  
 
Podcast Socials:
https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast/
Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin
Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

“Kickin n Spinnin” - Mark Cuban, Mulgrave, Donkey Dave

Zach and Roberto chitty chat with Mark Cuban (an elementary school teacher and sad sack), Mulgrave (a world traveler and chronicler) and Donkey Dave (a sntoned vampire man or some shit).
 
Love you

“Toothy Beauty” - Andy Junction, Big Gravy, Dillweed Thomas

Andy Junction, a chronically infuriated man, chats with Zach and Roberto about hats vs helmets, not understanding fantasy and novel ways of cooling ones emotional temperature down. Next Zach chats with Big Gravy, the once gravy salesman turned hell-demon, who is now on a press tour for his new finance book. Finally Roberto sits down gently with Dillweed Thomas, a wealthy entrepreneur, to discuss his slumlord business and that there are some things you just can’t talk to Yanks about.
 
Podcast Socials:
https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast/
Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin
Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

“We Must All Sh** On Our Own Pants” - Chris Ive, Joe Biden, Pippin Grear

Chris Ive, a Silicon Valley tech guru comes by to chat about his team’s earth shattering new product and in the process teaches Roberto how to live an enlightened life. Then Joe Biden returns to apologize to Zach and the American citizens for what he deems an unforgivable lapse in presidential etiquette. Lastly Pippin Grear returns to try and sell the youth on the simple pleasures of living a non-digital life… and also to continue his war against AI and robots. ChetGPT gets caught in the crossfire. Sorry Chet.
 
Podcast Socials:
https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast/
Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin
Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

Seth Mayhem, Bob Barley, Soul Sugar

First up today is Seth Mayhem, an influencer and Twitch streamer, who is plagued by his own audience’s expectations. Next they chat with Bob Barley, a toilet mogul who is renown for installing the toilets in each of the wonders of the world and wants to discuss why he no longer jokes. Lastly the boys talk to the pop star and music icon, Soul Sugar, who demos some of the songs from his new album. 

Kid Jeffries, Lex, Patrick Mahone

Starting things off, Zach and Roberto chat with Kid Jefferies who returns to the show with a new chill attitude to talk about his relationship with criminals, bears and his father. Then the boys introduce Lex, a self-proclaimed good man and non-villain who is endeavoring to help people in his own… misguided ways. Roberto talks to Lex’s Aunt Ruth and Grandmother Bethany to confirm bits of his origin. Later Patrick Mahone, a 4 year old little girl, is introduced and she talks about her history undercover in the CIA and her struggle regaining her non-undercover identity.

ChetGPT, Big Gravy, Isaac Attaboy

The boys’ first guest today is ChetGPT, a sentient AI birthed of a virgin scientist, offering his unique perspective on the world. You'll hear hilarious scenarios where ChetGPT's lack of emotional intelligence gets him into trouble. Then, Zach talks to Big Gravy, a hell demon turned tugboat captain, navigating the choppy waters of love. Finally, we have Isaac Attaboy, a news anchor with a penchant for improbable news stories. Isaac shares some of the most bizarre and outlandish news stories he's covered throughout his career.
 
-Written by ChetGPT
 
Zach’s Instagram: @jackerypumpkin
Roberto’s Instagram: @robertoreedcomedy

Blueberry, Emperor Palpatine, Captain Firebeard

The first guest for Zach and Roberto today is Burberry, The Lord and God of Dreams and Nightmares. He takes Roberto and the later guests into dreams that reflect the goodness or evil of the person in the dream. Second up is Emperor Palpatine, back again to show off his newfound appreciation for “small town evil” as well as plans for a Halloween store. Finally Captain Firebeard returns and is immediately embroiled in Palpie’s scheme to have a son. 

Corinthians, Mr. Matelaus, Genesis

Today’s episode starts off with Zach and Roberto chatting with Corinthians Rosenbaum, a feline behavioral psychologist. She trains Roberto to be a more dominant person using her rather eccentric methods. Then Roberto and Thia are both taught “maffs” by a professor named Mr. Matelaus who learned how to count  (and may have started the pandemic) in prison. Oh yeah, and he’s from the future and has a time traveling phone. Why not. Lastly they reveal a surprise guest which is Genesis Rosenbaum, Corinthians’ daughter that she’s trying to marry off to just about anyone. Throughout the episode several other people pop in like Donkey Dave, Schneedly Grip and even Engineer Josh.