Welcome To Earth

Catcall a Hunchback

Big dog Stony Tinsilvester gives us the 411 about what it's like to protect Santa and how life brought him there.
Big dog Cranky Little Wh*re wants to raise awareness of the sorts of services provided in the basements of Motel 6s and 7s. 
Big dog Pinocchio returns to the show to share more of his patented sad-sack-ery.
Watch TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@welcometoearth_podcastYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WelcomeToEarth_Podcast
SocialsPodcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy 

All You Give Me are Solids

Big dog Uncle Lenny tries to escape detection by the CIA for the things he did in his mysterious past.
Big dog Emperor Br!@n goes through therapy for his intrusive dictatorial thoughts. 
Big dog Count Chronicles gets into a fight with his own butt.
Socials TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@welcometoearth_podcastPodcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy 

“Spoken His Allotted Amount” - Kirby Enthusiasm, Little Man, Tom & Nick

Big dog Kirby Enthusiasm sidles over to the mic to give us more insight into the life of a cowboy from Texas.  
Big dog Little Man returns to sprinkle us all with more dark truths from the shadow realm.
Big dogs Tom Foolery and No Nonsense Nick make their first appearances to tell us of their scheme to out perform Santa Claus this Christmas.  
 
Socials  
Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast 
Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin
Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy
 

“Big Pink Face” - Skert, Uncle Lenny, DZay Jizzy

Big dog Skert sits his little butt in our chair and talks about his lovely wife who just so happens to sound like a barnyard animal. 
 
Big dog Uncle Lenny stumbles in from the kitchen to discuss his business plans and memories from Zach’s childhood. 
 
Big dog DZay Jizzy drops the funk on us with stories of his prolific career as a Gen Z DJ.
 
Socials 
Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast 
Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin 
Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy 

“You Do Smell Like Dirt, King” - Jack Jim Joe, Mulgrave, Rizzmaster

Big dog Jack Jim Joe swings by to talk about his club for men with insecurities—not complaints! He’s a manipulative boi who wants to use peoples’ insecurities against them. 
 
Big dog Mulgrave pulls up on us to  talk about his recent rad quest to dig deep within Mt. Fuji for the God Blood. Has a private chef, loves jet fuel, hates science nerds. 
 
Big dog Rizzmaster is a 14 year old boy who is on a mission to teach the world how to properly Rizz. He ends up starting an imaginary situation that leads to the studio actually exploding. 
 
Socials 
Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast 
Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin 
Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy 

“Give Me Another Six” - Andy Junction, Bill Smart, Eminem, Plumpy

Big dog Andy Junction is trying to cool down, so he enlists the help of Roberto to quiet the rage in his soul.
 
Big dog Bill Smart wants to figure out what he did last week and finds a new best friend along the way.
 
Introducing big dog, Plumpy, who just wants to talk about his pumpkin patch but is abducted by aliens and replaced by big dog Eminem… the rapper.
 
Quote of the episode
“For the audio listeners: something just happened.”
 
Socials 
Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast 
Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin 
Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy 

“I Play the Fifth” - Donkey Dave, Piggie Smalls, Bullfrog

Big dog Donkey Dave swings by to discuss Barbie and show us his new bike.
Big dog Piggie Smalls swings by to discuss his housing needs and tending to the heads on Mount Rushmore.
And introducing the new big dog, Bullfrog, who is a bullfrog.
 
Socials 
Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast 
Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin 
Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy 

“40 RuPauls” - Boris Privyet, Ruth, Lester Cob

Roberto becomes good friends with Boris Privyet, previously known as Magic Mike, while looking through his assortment of mystical trinkets. Zach gets completely embarrassed by one of these trinkets — a magic sieve which translates the truth through his dirty lies. 
Then Zach becomes close.. too close.. with Ruth, an old biddy who is slowly losing her marbles. She’s come to the show to promote her new career as a driving instructor but tragically dies, only to then be puppeteered by Little Man (a timeless shadow monster). 
Lastly Zach and Roberto talk to Lester Cob, an activist and heavy weight annoying voice world champion. Fight the system, bro.
 
In Memoriam:
Storky
Ruth’s big badonkadonk
 
Socials:
Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast 
Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin 
Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy 

“Spanking the Babies & Kissing the Mommies” - Schmitty McFallsalot, James, ChetGPT

Schmitty McFallsalot returns to the show to tell the boys about a governmental conspiracy he’s uncovering involving the FBI and Canadian witches. Zach and Roberto perform a hostage negotiation at the Hilton in Salem Massachusetts for President Joseph-Gordon Biden. They discover that Tom Cruise is a future politician. Their second guest is James. Simply James. And he is an expert on small talk and completely unable to speak about big things. The boyz wrap things up by shaming ChetGPT in various ways.  
 
Oh, also Zach is a vampire now. That’s canon. 
 
Shirt ideas:
1. “Politicians are good, witches are bad”
2. “Elon Musk makes my balls sweat”
 
Socials 
Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast/ 
Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin 
Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy

“Are You Saying Da or Duh?” - Waxy Maximilian, Magic Mike, Cheerful Charlie

Waxy Maximilian comes on talking all this game about making magic and doin tricks. Whoa man, I didn’t ask for your life story. Then this Magic Mike guy sits down in my chair and no one even stopped him. He makes people sleepy or something. The last guy was a sweet kid. Cheerful Charlie was his name. He just made me feel good about myself. Zach and Roberto also talked to this 911 operator. Like why. Anyway, see you guys next time. 
 
Socials 
Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/welcometoearth_podcast/ 
Zach: https://www.instagram.com/jackerypumpkin 
Roberto: https://www.instagram.com/robertoreedcomedy